Genie in a Bottle - Poem

Genie in a Bottle

Rain lashes heavily against the window
Beating a rhythmic drum in her head
At first it’s nice, calming, sweet, alluring, like a lullaby sung to an innocent baby to get it off to sleep
She taps a faint tune on the table with her fingers
Torn flesh, bleeding, nails bitten – ragged and raw
Her bare feet move to an invisible tune that now repeats itself in her mind over and over again like a record stuck permanently on repeat play
The thudding gets louder and louder like thunder cracking directly over head
A volcano erupting sending emotions out of control
There is no volume control as the noise reaches fever pitch
Her battered hands rise to cover over her ears to block out the now deafening sound
As the noise reaches its pinnacle she smashes her fists into the nearest wall
A trail of blood casts a strange new pattern on the living rooms pale walls
A map to somewhere exotic
An interesting pattern of dots and smudges
Fascinating to look at, beautiful
The noise does not stop it just gets quieter and quieter until it returns to nothing more than a gentle hum
Bruised she seeks sanctuary, refuge from the storm that ignites like a fire in her head
Protection for the evil monster that lurks deep in her consciousness
Pills and therapy trap him in a corked bottle but he fights back
He smashes the bottle against the side of her head day after day, night after night
Eventually the glass becomes fragile and breaks
Escape means that he has power over her mind and body once more
She is nothing more than a passenger driver
Given a set of orders to follow and obey
Glasses fall like huge hail stones to the kitchen floor
One by one she slams them down watching with faint interest as they explode like petals on a flower in bloom
Shards of glass like little gems form a carpet
A path that leads back to a damaged soul
Oblivious to the danger underfoot she walks bare footed over the trap she has prepared for herself
Rose petals formed by drops of fresh red blood
Confetti on the once white floor
She does not notice and if she does she does not care
Pain no longer matters
Anything she can lay her hands on becomes a target for destruction
A plate, a dish, a jug, even the kitchen chair
Crashing through the window the chair breaks into pieces that scatter like fire wood on the ground letting in the world outside
Family and friends become targets in this one woman war
Kitchen implements become missiles, bullets to dodge
Rain seeps in, a welcome relief for a person who feels so hot
She is on fire, her blood is boiling, her face so red she looks like she is going to self combust
She is primed to explode, controlled by an imaginary person
A ghostly voice in her head
An invisible form that the naked eye cannot see
A creature full of hatred and anger
An entity that lives only for death and destruction
A fog that swallows whole people’s souls spitting them out when they are broken, torn, ripped in two, dead
She is a menace to society and she should be put down
A lethal injection, a bullet to the chest
She doesn’t care how she dies
She knows she is past the point of return
Adrenaline pushes her onwards
Out of control she glides, like a sailboat on calm water, in a daze
Her eyes blank, staring at a fixed point on the wall
A knife gleams on the side like a precious jewel in a crown of poisoned thorns
Temptation runs like a torrid river through her body
Teasing her, luring her
Playing dangerous games with her warped mind
The voice in her head controls her – every thought, every action
She is a robot, a puppet – the voice her master
He laughs at her hesitation, her fear, her frustration
A prize worth its weight in gold stands before her, beckoning, challenging
The blade is razor sharp, so shinny she can see her own reflection
She does not recognise the person she sees starring back at her
Her eyes crazy, possessed
An infectious smile that forms on her eager lips
She is ready, ready to die
She feels aroused, sensual
Odd emotions when facing death
She lets the sharp blade pierce her wounded skin
Marks from the past litter her body
This is just one more, another notch on the skin of life, another scar to hide, to conceal with make-up and clothes
A deadly secret
She presses hard against her flesh
Cutting deeper and deeper into her body until the wound is deep and blood runs like a river, escaping, purifying itself
One wrist becomes two as she sinks the blade further in
She does not feel scared or nervous as blood runs like water from a tap
Her feet stained with her very own blood
She cannot resist a confident slightly deranged smile
Her soul, her heart, her mind are all being cleansed, finally they will be pure, set free
It is a truly magnificent feeling
Elation and joy no time for tears
She is a bird flying high in the sky
A dancer on tip toes dancing across the floor
Euphoria, such a wonderful feeling
She feels like laughing, singing, screaming just to let the world know she is alive
Darkness comes quickly, smothering her like a blanket
Stealing her breath, her heartbeat, her life
The hum in her head fades into nothing
A silence that sings like a choir of angels
Quiet