A Prisoner of Love/My Tortured Soul - Poem

A Prisoner of Love/My Tortured Soul

A dark cloud looms overhead
Following me wherever I tread
Engulfing me
Swallowing my soul, my heart, my life
Twisting and turning until it has taken every last breath
My identity smothered, extinguished
Stamped out like an ant under a gigantic foot
A robot in human form set to obey basic commands
Clock in, clock out, in, out, in, out……………..
An invisible leash wrapped tightly around my neck
Words like a cane attack my body
Bruise my porcelain skin
Torn apart limb by limb
Broken down
Never quite meeting the mark
Try harder, try harder
My spirit broken lying in tatters on the floor
Trampled under foot
Kicked aside like a piece of rubbish
Worthless, good for nothing
Alone, so alone
Surrounded by people who judge and dictate
Preachers all with the same message
Well intentioned words that find themselves hitting a brick wall
Words that are repeated over and over a thousand times
Put yourself in my shoes
See life from the other side for a while
Four walls made of plaster and mortar - a prison
Love a shackle I do not have the energy or strength to break
Consonants and vowels, darts dipped in poison
I want to peel the flesh from my body
Gouge at my skin
Beat myself black and blue
Anything to feel some pain
To remind myself I am still alive
I have control; I am still in charge of the reins
I want to scream until my lungs are inflamed
Instead the seconds become minutes, then hours, then days
Time trickles by like a slow moving river
Nothing changes, everything stays exactly the same