Running for Cover - Poem

Running for Cover

She can’t take anymore
It has to stop
She has to put an end to this relationship once and for all
She doesn’t want to but knows that it is for her own good
It is an unhealthy alliance
A deadly cocktail bound to end in disaster for one of the pair
Two people so alike they are like peas in a pod
It is eerie just how similar their minds work
On some level they have connected in a way that she had never dreamed was possible
She feels angry at the way he treats her
Inviting her into his life then without a second thought pushing her away
Only allowed in when it suits him
Being kept at arms length all of the time
She feels like she is the only one doing the giving
Organising her life to suit him
The torture is becoming too much for her to take
Days without contact drive her insane
All sorts of thoughts echo round in her head
Panic mixed with worry and guilt – a deadly mixture
No way of knowing the truth
Shut out in the cold
Hoping and praying that all will be ok
Her only release
Her only outlet for her anxiety
Scared in case the worst has happened whatever that may be
Many scenarios play over and over in her tortured mind
Cross and bitter when she discovers nothing was wrong
Elated when contact is made once again
Forgiven in seconds for days of personal anguish and pain
Why does he does this to her?
Keeping her hanging around like a toy that he might just decide to play with on that particular day
Keeping her on hold just in case he feels the need to talk
Like a fool she goes along with his games, his rules
One click of his fingers and she comes running
He has become her addiction and now she cannot let go of him
Determined to keep the peace she says nothing to his face
Surely something occasionally is better than nothing at all?
Inside she is confused, weak and slowly going insane
Her body has taken one too many emotional blows
She feels drained
She is angry and lashes out at anyone and everyone except for him
Afraid that she would drive him away if she told him the truth about how she feels
She needs her fix and without him she would be lost out in the wild once again
Numbed by fear of letting him down, of letting him go
Paralysed by her own fear of life without him
Trapped in a no win situation, unable to escape the four walls that lock her in
Only she can kick the addiction and walk away
All she needs is inner courage and strength
Goodbye is however a very hard word to say


This piece is inspired by a friend who will remain nameless. The title of this piece comes from the title of a Martyn Joseph album.